Suppose you have recommended this blog or were looking for autonomy online because you took. In that case, you're living, or you have concluded, by only/ao in pairs, a path of heterologous fertilization.
If you have any questions you can write to francesca.cavallini@centrotice.it
The proper way to inform your family of origin that you are planning or have already done insemination with your partner.
On this point, I certainly would have likedto read a blog that answered my doubts and guided me through this difficult time. Instead, unfortunately, this was not the case.
Internalized homophobia
At that time, I preferred to be guided by my internalized homophobia.
Internalized homophobia is the set of negative feelings (such as anxiety, contempt, and aversion) that homosexual people feel toward homosexuality, their own, and others. Regarding homoerotic feelings, homosexual behavior, same-sex relationships, and self-definition as a gay or lesbian person.
I am sure that many of you will think that you do not suffer from internalized homophobia, but I must sadly prove you wrong...100% of homosexual people suffer from it!!!!
It is not "our fault" but the deeply homophobic culture and society in which we have grown up.
If you want to learn more about internalized homophobia, watch the video!
My internalized homophobia guided me in inventing a stupid story that deserves to be told. To not hurt the feelings of my grandmothers and more respectable relatives, I decided to "hint" that a notorious American man, educated and handsome, was guilty of my pregnancy. At that time, I often went to the United States, and the story seemed like it could work.
Result?
No one believed the American, and the whispering about the true nature of conception went on for almost one year.
In my defense, I can say that it was 2009 and that Bice was the first Piacenza baby with two mothers.
A few suggestions
Fortunately, in 2016 I had a new opportunity, and this new experience allowed me today to write some suggestions on how to tell your family of origin about fertilization. Suggestions and reflections are certainly healthier than the American man.
1. yes, I will say...the truth always pays off.Say it in simple, understandable words and short sentences, "I am going to have a child by artificial insemination."
2. do not use plural forms (of the kind we decided...) best the singular (I decided to try to have a baby/baby with my partner)
3. use the indicative (I have decided, I will do), do not use conditional (I would like to ... I would like to ...)
4. prepare answers to some questions, you might ask: "what does it consist of?" - "is it dangerous?" - "is it legal?" - "Why do you do it and she doesn't?"
5. try the comunication in front of the mirror ten times alone
6. write down any thoughts you imagine your parents might be feeling (disappointment, anger, sadness), look at them and remember they are your thoughts
7. last, but super important, if you feel like running away and retracing your steps, that's normal. If you have not run away, you have just made the first parenting gesture of your life.
Francesca Cavallini
Psychologist, Founder of the Tice, a Professor at the University of Parma, italy
Por una consulta escrita: Francesca Cavallini
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